Make Your Own Christmas Traditions

I have a riddle for you. You ready? What’s red and white and scares the bejeesus out of my children? OK. Here’s another clue. He’s big and hairy and is literally everywhere we go during the holiday season. Still nothing? Alright, last hint: When my daughter sees him, she turns into a screaming pile of alligator tears and melts into a puddle on the ground like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Yeah, thanks Santa *sarcasm*. Thank you for kind of epitomizing Christmas for me as a parent. You’re jolly and joyful and your pants never fit just right (I feel ya, buddy), but your presence creates a frustration in me that I just can’t explain. I think it has to do with the need to adhere to tradition, answer a bunch of confusing “but-is-he-real” questions, and continuously come up with ways to make the season truly merry and bright. When you’re around, Sir Kringle, being a parent to an anxiety-ridden 4-year old has never been harder.

So this is Christmas.

I know we can’t do much about Santa and his clown-like ora or whatever, but I DO know that our family has come up with some wonderful holiday traditions that stand on their own and fit into our goofy, messy, chaotic life quite well. No tears, no fears, just cheers (and some beers). Here’s how we get our groove on to celebrate Christmas, and bring some genuine smiles to the faces of our children. I highly recommend you enjoy the season as traditionally or untraditionally as you please. Ain’t nobody judging so long as memories are being made, am I right? 

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THE DREADED ELF WHO DOESN’T MOVE
This is our Elf, Leonardo. I hate him. I mean, he’s ok, but I certainly don’t like him very much. Our kids love him though, and hey, isn’t that what Christmas is all about? We don’t tell the kids the full “Elf on the Shelf” story because they’d have too many questions and they’d freak out if mama failed to move him, so we just place him in funny spots when we remember and they think it’s funny. Pick up an Elf on the Shelf to start this tradition with your family, but don’t feel the need to live by the book on this one. Our elf literally stood behind this nativity set holding that lamb for 11 days. Because it was funny.

THE CANDY HOUSE WITH A RETRACTABLE ROOF
This is a gingerbread house covered in obscene amounts of frosting with candy sliding down the roof. My husband and I spend hours trying to get the sides to stay vertical using soup cans and glue guns and clothespins and string…and it never works. Never ever ever. But when the kids get to douse it in gumdrops and licorice, nobody cares that the two sides of the roof aren’t connected. They just think it’s awesome to lick the icing and get everything sticky and colorful. Totally worth the hours of parental labor. Mostly.

THE ORNAMENTS THAT REQUIRE GLUE AND TALENT I DON’T HAVE
These are homemade ornaments. Plain glass balls from Michaels and a little imagination and you can come up with some way to celebrate your child’s favorite character or theme of the year. Featured in 2015: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (the same year we named our Elf Leonardo). Hey, there’s nothing some mod podge and construction paper can’t do, really. It pains me to rely on Pinterest so heavily to get these ideas, but whatever. It’s tradition.

THE TREES THAT COVER MY HOUSE IN FROSTING
These are ice cream cone Christmas trees. While they are less irritating than a gingerbread house, they are also very messy. Maybe that was because I allow sprinkles and food coloring into the mix, but the end result is cute and it keeps them pretty occupied, all things considered. They demand their trees be kept in their room, which always results in some green frosted carpet, but it wouldn’t be tradition if it didn’t cause a ruckus.

THE REINDEER CARROT-TOSSING
This is a plate of half-eaten cookies and a Thank You note from Santa. We leave out milk and cookies and sometimes chips and beer because, hey, Santa works hard and looks like he enjoys a craft beer now and again. But the part we love the most is tossing baby carrots all over our snow-covered lawn for the reindeer. They work hard too and there’s a lot of them – 9 to be exact – that is A LOT of carrots. The kids toss them from the front door and try to hit all corners of our front yard. I’m actually shocked that we don’t find more of them come spring every year. The rabbits must beat us to them…making it all the more believable! Thanks, rabbits, for helping with this silly tradition.

THE CRAZY CHRISTMAS CARD
This is us trying on our totally awesome Christmas shirts from Faux Real Apparel. This will be our first year for this tradition and I cannot wait! We are going to wear our new hilarious holiday shirts from FauxRealShirt.com and get a family pic for our Christmas cards. Faux Real Apparel sells photorealistic clothes that are strikingly real looking, and actually incredibly comfortable. Even my husband, who is a clothing snob, said his shirt was crazy soft and that he’s looking forward to wearing it again.

We all took turns modeling our apparel right when they arrived in the mail. Not too bad, huh? Although it took me awhile to realize my husband’s might have to be slightly edited for the family Christmas card mailing list (Grandma and Grandpa might not approve of his “active” reindeer), but how perfect will this be for a friend’s ugly sweater party? They will get worn more than once, I can tell you that right now. With men’s, women’s and kid’s gear, Faux Real has something for everyone, and it’s all pretty clever. I’m a big fan of the humor behind most of these, especially the grumpy cat sweater that reads “Jingle Hell.” It’s just plain funny.

Don’t see yourself needing one for the holiday season? Understandable. But think about how hilarious these could be for a bachelorette party or a gag gift for that funny cat lady in your life? With prices ranging between $20-30, these are worth buying for a good night of laughs (and tons and tons of pictures).

Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by Faux Real. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

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Did you find a holiday tradition you could start with your family? Do you have an idea that would suit your style vs. following the norm? ‘Tis the season of bringing joy to those you love, so do what makes you and your family happy…even if it’s messy, goofy, or embarrassingly idiotic.