Why We Need Our Kids to Be Kind: An Interview with Ann Gettis

I walked into the brightly-lit Caribou Coffee as the sun was setting on a cold February evening. I’d never met her before, but I had been anxiously awaiting my face-to-face conversation with her for weeks. I was nervous because I didn’t know what she would be willing to tell. I didn’t know what I would be willing to ask. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing or cry in front of her or feel like an outsider trying to do an insider’s work. And she is definitely an insider doing an insider’s work.

As I walked in the door, I took a quick glance around the coffee shop and spotted a pair of glasses staring at me from the back table. She was sipping her drink and looked up as I got closer to give me a shy, warm smile and I asked her, “Are you Ann?” Thus began a very spiritual, educating and emotional conversation about the importance of using kindness to fight bullying and – most importantly – the power of teaching our kids resilience and compassion.

Ann Gettis, founder of the organization Jeremiah’s Hope for Kindness, has worked hard for nearly 10 years as an advocate for bullying prevention. At the age of 21, her son Jeremiah took his own life behind the barn at their family home, leaving a note that will forever burn in his mother’s heart, stating that he didn’t want to live in a world where people were so cruel.

From that day forward, Ann and her organization have dedicated themselves to changing the world Jeremiah described as so cruel by creating kind and caring schools and communities so that every child feels valued and cared about. In my mind, that evokes such a sense of peace. This woman is a game-changer, a community-builder, a life-saver. And talking to her made me all the more a believer in those thoughts.

It took about 15 minutes and a lot of small talk until I started to feel her passion for the subject. Her mild-mannered voice hid it well, but the more we chatted about her ideas, goals, and long-term plans, the more I found myself getting excited right along with her. Jeremiah’s Hope for Kindness longs to be a resource for schools and communities to use to help build a more compassionate environment, moving away from shame and punishment and focusing more on restorative practices. Bullying is far too common a problem these days and the effects can be harmful – even fatal – if not dealt with in the proper way. Ann believes in fighting the fight with anything but fire. What would’ve sent most parents into a dark hole of hatred, she has chosen to use her experience to teach the ways of paying kindness forward. This alone is completely remarkable and I applaud her a million times over.

So what does Jeremiah’s Hope for Kindness do to help with bullying prevention? 

Ann speaks at schools, churches and youth groups about the importance of parental involvement, fighting the natural reaction, forming resilience, having open communication, and creating a proper environment of safety for every child. In-school programs and services are a must and maintaining a solid relationship with your kids is oh-so-crucial. Their organization has developed programs that get youth and adults involved in kindness campaigns and pledges as well as finding ways to support teachers and staff in fighting the good fight. Their newest initiative involves teaching parents proper ways to model proper social and emotional behaviors that help nurture healthy relationships and built resilience. She says there is nothing more important than taking the time to understand where someone is coming from – therein lies the root of compassion. And the skills it takes to feel and react compassionately will be our world’s #1 preventative against bullying.

The more I listened to her speak, the more I wanted to get involved, share her teachings, just…be kind. At one point, she quoted Martin Luther King, Jr.:

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

And this must be why she does what she does. No child – no PERSON – should fight silently. We need to be advocates, stand up for what’s right, and allow everyone to speak their minds.

Ann may be an introverted mother of loss who fears public speaking like the plague, but doggonnit, she sure knows how to pack a punch and make a difference. Her story shook me to the core and her want to change the world was absolutely awe-inspiring.

She closed our conversation saying, “I’m not a perfect person…not a perfect parent…not a perfect anything. But I’ve learned a lot.” And that, my friends, is beautiful because from somewhere we all must start.

So, let’s start today! Let’s make a change! Let’s be a part of something bigger than ourselves! I urge you all to join me for Kindness in Chalk: An Anti-Bullying Movement. With nothing more than a bucket of sidewalk chalk and a great attitude, our goal is to cover the walkways of our schools and communities with words of acceptance, encouragement and kindness. Just reading the words “You are Loved” on the playground can be a day-changer. Let’s change days. Let’s change lives. Let’s teach and spread compassion in the simplest, most colorful and creative way possible. Read all about the Kindness in Chalk movement here. Don’t forget to get the permission of your school principal or community leader (sample letter here) and gather up your parent friends, teachers or students to take this day to make someone else’s brighter.

A huge thank you to the inspiring Ann Gettis for sharing her heart with me that night over coffee. Please support her extremely important cause as well by checking out the wonderful resources, services, programs and ideas on their website:  www.jeremiahshopeforkindness.org. You can also donate to their organization online here or follow them on Facebook or Twitter.