A Birth Story: Yellow Light, Write Workshop

A birth story. Huh. You know, considering that a large chunk of my life is spent writing, you’d think it would’ve crossed my mind to jot down some notes about my kids’ arrivals on this earth. Sure, I’ve been asked about my labor and deliveries before, but my response has always been the same canned gurgle of insensitivity:

“My 5’4 frame had far surpassed the 200 mark and 170 pounds of it was in my ankles. I was in labor for 48 hours, hopped up on pitocin and oxytocin, and wound up having a stupid a** C-section – a massive disappointment after all the physical work I put into shoving him down there.”

But is that all I really want to remember about the birth of my first child? The child who made me a mother? I had never thought about it until I was contacted by Jill Kresse, the mind behind Yellow Light, Write, a two-hour workshop urging you to slow down and tell your tale. With a mug of tea, a couple pens and the inspiration of a group of mamas in an honest, non-judgmental environment, I felt comfortable enough to give it a go.

Yellow Light, Write is not just for new moms and no writing experience is necessary. The point of the workshop is for mothers to set aside time to get it down in words – sit back, relax and fill out a journal of writing prompts led by Jill, a mom who was motivated by her own traumatic birth story and post-partum experience. As I sat at the table surrounded by other mothers who opted to share tidbits of their personal stories, I wondered – what exactly about my birth story was worth writing down? It took my son two days to come out. Big deal, right?  I was assured early on in the workshop that, yes, my story (and every story) is worth writing down! So I started in, excited to see where it would take me.

Jill urged us to “zoom in and then pan out.” In other words, step back and think about the overarching emotions of your birth experience, and then zoom in on the “laundry list of details.” She assured us there is no lyrical way for your story to be arranged, and sometimes it can even cripple you from wanting to continue. Pain, compassion, and humor were shared as we jotted down our recollections of sounds, smells, premonitions, and details of our own pregnancies, deliveries and forever-changed lives.

By the time the workshop had ended, my journal was filled with dozens of memories that had been (unintentionally) nudged to the back of my brain. My 6-foot-4 dad trying to sleep on the poorly-cushioned hospital bench because he was breathing incessant worry and refused to leave my side. The conversation my aunt and mom had over my stomach before I went into the operating room, tearily talking about how “their babies are having babies.” My husband sneaking me a Twizzler even though the doctors said I couldn’t eat a bite until baby arrived. The doctor who promised me I’d have my baby before her shift was over and when 7am rolled around and she got to go home to her comfortable doctor bed, I was still there…sans baby. Hearing two nurses report that Michael Jackson had just died while I slipped in and out of consciousness on the operating table. Telling my sister his name three times, and then not remembering telling her at all. Watching my baby’s dark hair rush past me immediately after he came out. All I saw was thick, black hair in my husband’s arms. We made a baby. I had a story. I had my very own baby story.

The concept of this workshop is unique and perfectly catered to its audience. Jill is offering upcoming workshops on April 30 and May 27, 2015. Workshops are held at Heartfelt in Linden Hills, Minneapolis from 6:30-8:30pm and cost $35. MinneMama Adventure readers get a $5 discount if you mention this blog when registering. I know a lot of mothers who would appreciate this workshop as a gift (Mother’s Day…not just a monikered coincidence) or an outing with fellow mommy girlfriends.

I left the workshop feeling inspired to, not only continue telling my story, but to renounce the senseless urge to pass judgment on others. The final thought in the “Yellow Light, Write” journal reads:

“We never fully know one another’s story. There are so many different perspectives on this universal act of childbirth and motherhood. If there’s one thing I hope you get out of this and spread to others, it’s to pause before casting judgment.”

I challenge you to not let those words inspire you, as both a mother and a human being.

Read more about the workshop at the Yellow Light, Write website or on RedCurrent.